tonight

Oops, here is my post that I originally wrote that I thought got deleted..

Tonight as I was driving with Maddix in the car, I felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Tears streamed down my face. I turned around, held Maddix's chunky thighs, and told him how much I love being his mom and how much I love spending time with him.
The other day I was telling Brig how much I love Maddix at this age. He laughed, only because we are in the process of potty training, and experiencing the "terrible twos" so not every moment in our house is exactly pleasent, but every day I feel that I grow so much. I learn patience or I learn the importance of meal time together. I learn that playing horses, legos, football, and baseball all day gives me the opportunity to bond with my boy. I learn more about my handsome little guy's personality and realize that what I do really does rub off on him and he really is learning by example. The other day Maddix and I were swimming in the pool and he walked over to the step, knelt down and began to pray. It went like this, "Heavenly Father, thank you body, thank you dada, thank you momma, keep momma safe, thank you happy, thank you swimming pool, thank you cereal, thank you prophet, thank you Jesus, Amen." He looked up at me with such a proud face and said, "Make Jesus happy." After the conference talk given that discussed the importance of teaching our children to understand, I have been trying really hard to explain why we pray, why we go to church, etc. I showed him a few examples in the Ensign where there were pictures of stories and I explained why the people were praying and how Heavenly Father helped them. Every time I teach him this, I can tell that he is really trying to understand. He looks at me with the cutest serious face ever and asks questions or repeats back what I say. It is so hard to teach a 2 year old, but they do absorb everything so I am really trying hard to be a good example.

This summer has been perfect. Yes potty training can be frustrating, but I love being home with Maddix. I love being there to watch him learn new things. I love our daily swims, our (almost) daily trips to Costco, our walks to the park to play football, baseball or golf. I love singing him songs before he goes down for his nap or to sleep at night. We sing the same three songs every night, "I love to see the temple", "I am a child of God", and "I hope they call me on a mission". I love watching his sweet tired eyes slowly close at he falls asleep. Some day's it isn't until that moment that I realize how precious and innocent he is. I love being a mom.

thought exfoliations

pretend that makes sense because it does to me.

right now i have millions of thoughts and i was going to make each one of them my fb status and then realized that I'd have millions of fb status’ in one night so here we go…

-maddix can say his name and its the cutest thing ever. sounds simple, but seriously you’d melt if you heard this little guy say, “Mannix Wheet”. Yes that's exactly how he says it. he tries to hard and i love it.

-today we paid off our car!!! yeeah-ah! we’ve been making big payments on it recently so that we don't have to go another year with a car payment each month. NO more car payments for us! feels amazing. that pretty much made my day.

-i lied. going to the temple made my day.. and then paying off the car came in a close 2nd :) even though i forgot brig's church shoes and his temple clothes (he met me there from work), we still managed to get to the temple. I love being able to walk into the temple and feel at peace. I love being able to sit and ponder for an hour or two and receive answers. I love the Spirit that I feel there and I know that it is truly the Lord’s house.

-P.S.- It pays off being a LeSueur. Thanks to LeSueur’s Tuxedos Brig had a snazzy pair of burgundy dress shoes to wear into the temple. They looked fantastic with his grey pants and blue tie, let me tell ya. Well at least better than his pumas.

-Costa Vida date without “Mannix” came in a very close 3rd.

-I might be regretting Costa Vida when I run my 9 miler in the morning

-Speaking of running, right about now I’m craving a Costco chocolate hand dipped ice cream bar covered in toasted almonds. 800 calories of yumminess in case you wanted the details..

-Or any ice cream would do…getting desperate i guess.

-Pinterest is my way of relaxing and letting my brain rest during studying breaks.

-My son is an angel when I'm not around, and a big stinker when i am around. Any advice would be much appreciated from any mothers who have had a 20 month old that throws very large temper tantrums when they don’t get to pick every single thing they eat and every place where they get to eat. HELPPPPP! My solution as of now is crib time when he throws fits. But lately I feel like I’m either at school, or putting maddix in his crib. I would love to have a happy home at least half of the time that I’m home :) In fact, I think I hear him crying…wait nope, it’s just engraved in my head.

-Okay, okay. We do have some good moments. And when we do, I shed a few tears because of how sweet my little man can be. He gives me kisses, and huge hugs around my neck. He loves me to hold him and dance around the house to music. He hits a baseball like no other 20 month old I know! He lets me tickle and wrestle him on the bed. He has the cutest/chunkiest little legs ever! His voice seriously melts my heart. He is such a good talker. He surprises me every day with a new word. He still takes awesome morning naps for me each day so that I can study. I don’t know many 20 month olds that still take 2 naps a day. One of my very favorite things is that he already loves the temple. Seriously though. We have two pictures of the temple in our house. Each morning he points to one of them and says something that sounds like “pemple”. Then he wants to touch it. And then he says “dada” and keeps saying “dada” until I tell him that "mommy and daddy got married in the temple”.  And then he gets a huge smile on his face. This little guy already knows how special the temple it. A few weeks ago we took him to walk around the temple and he did not want to leave. He cried the whole way home saying “pemple! pemple!”. I can’t complain. I love him to death and I thank my Heavenly Father each day that I have him! I absolutely love being a mom. Even though it can be pretty difficult sometimes, I wouldn't trade it for anything. The amount of happiness that he brings to me, not to mention the Spirit that he brings into our home, makes it so worth it. I’m so blessed!

-Brig has been having some good ideas of what kind of careers he might want to pursue. I used to be so worried about making sure its a job that will provide lots of money, but now I could care less (maybe a sign that I'm maturing a little? yay!) As long as we just have what we need, I really just want him to be happy and to love what he does!

-I love Dental Hygiene school. I am not just saying this. I really really love what I’m going to be doing. I’m sorry if I ever talk any of your heads off about school, but it’s only because I love it or because I want to vent to someone about how difficult it can be sometimes. But mostly because I love it :) I didn't say i love all the studying, because I don't. I just love what I’m learning and I love the feeling of working hard for something and seeing the results. We had midterms last week and thanks to my awesome husband and mom and sister in law Bethany (who watched him like 3 times in one week for me and she’s about to have a baby! she’s amazing), i rocked them! bragging moment- my lowest grade was an 87% and this was huge because i could've sworn that i failed one of them. okay, I'm done bragging because like I said, I couldn't have done it without my awesome fam and many many prayers. I was just very happy about it!! So that being said, yes, I’m still in the program. I love my class mates. They are all amazing people and great examples to me. I highly recommend the Dental Hygiene Program to anyone who loves meticulous work, being detailed, interacting with people, making things look clean and pretty, someone who wants to learn everything there is to know (and more) about teeth, working in a neat and clean environment, and doesn't mind blood and needles :)

Okay so some of these were more than small thoughts but I already feel so much better. If you made it through this, you are a trooper. Congrats :) And thanks for reading!

playing in the rain

pulling daddy’s hair

 

plugging his ears because baby addi (my friend rachel’s baby) was crying.

he’s never done this before so it was hilarious!

  

Rachel and I at clinic working on our typodants- Charlie and….mine doesn’t have a name yet. Suggestions would be much appreciated.

class of 2013! 

babies are miracles

yesterday we lost our precious little baby. I felt like I was already getting attached to my baby. we are feeling so extremely grateful that it only happened when i was 9 weeks along. But that didnt stop me from feeling any pain. I have gained a new appreciation for women that go through miscarriages or still born babies. It is such an empty feeling.
On Tuesday I had my doctors appointment and everything looked great. We saw the heart beat on the ultrasound and it was beating just as it should. That night I had a little bit of discharge but didnt think much about it. Wednesday morning I started bleeding. I called the doctor and they told me that they think that it was probably because of the ultrasound and most likely it was coming from the cervix, not the uterus. This was comforting. They told me to go on bed rest for 24 hours and if it didnt go away then to call. My mom took Maddix and I got lots of rest. Thursday morning it got worse. I called the doctor and scheduled an appointment at 1:15. I was on bed rest until then. I am so grateful for my mom that let me lounge at her house while she entertained maddix. I didnt have any cramping through any of this until a little before the doctors appointment. It continued to get worse at the doctors and was hurting pretty bad while I was there waiting. When they brought me back, they did an exam and i bypassed the sac already. He told me the news, i was shocked. they both gave me hugs, let me cry, and finished up. I called Brig right away and let him know the sad news. He came home, gave me a big hug and just let me cry..and eat ice cream :) I didnt think it would hurt this much. Physically and emotionally. {I had very bad cramps when I got home for a few hours}. After a few hours I was able to talk on the phone without crying. But I would end up breaking down right after of course. My awesome mother in law and sister in law brought us dinner and Brig helped me with Maddix.
This morning I am doing a lot better. I got the rest my body needed and today I’m going to be strong. i’m going to spend lots of time with family to take my mind off of it. Thanks for everyone’s love and support. I appreciate it!
I am so grateful for the plan of salvation. I know that I will see my baby again. I am very grateful to have Maddix to keep me busy and to keep my mind occupied :) He is such a blessing and is everything brig and I could ever want in a little boy. My sister in law the other day reminded me that baby’s are such miracles. I dont think I ever fully appreciated that when I had Maddix because he was completely healthy and my pregnancy went perfect. Babies really are miracles. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and that this trial in our life happened for a reason. I have so much faith in my Savior and know that everything will be okay :)
 

weaknesses

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.
I give unto men weakness that they may be
humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble
themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me,
and have faith in me, then will I make weak things
become strong unto them.” Ether 12:27
this scripture really touched me this morning during scripture study. i am going to be better. when i start to dwell on a personal weakness that i just cant get right, im going straight to to the Lord! no more doing it on my own. i love my Savior. i love inspiration that the scriptures and prayer brings. thank goodness for all of them otherwise id be quite lost in this crazy world!
love, shelby

items of business

first of all, maddix is officially crawling..everywhere! we now need to baby-proof the house. like crazy. he loves getting into chords, almost tipped the stand-up fan onto himself, almost pulled the curling iron down onto himself. i tell ya, its scary!
second, in case you were wondering, we had an awesome weekend. friday morning we learned to love each other a little more and realize how blessed we are as a family and to have the gospel in our lives. brig’s good friends wife was pregnant with a little boy after trying for a couple years. she lost the baby a couple days before she was supposed to be induced. they had a funeral on friday morning that we attended. that was the most emotional thing. we just sat there and held maddix so tight..we could hardly get through the opening hymn “Families Can Be Together Forever”. we were super choked up. yes, even brigham..which is totally not like him. that was such a good reminder for us to take advantage of our sweet healthy little boy. i wouldnt have it any other way. that day we learned to be so patient with him..if he cried we just held him and comforted him and realized how blessed we are to have a crying baby in the home, to have a non-sleeping baby in the home, to have a baby in the home at all! i love my family more than anything and im so glad that we can be together forever.
brig took the rest of the day off. i went to lunch with my sister in laws then baked and decorated a cake for pretty much the rest of the night. {no worries, i took a break and we went to paradise bakery for din din and then walked to wal mart :)} my sisters and mom came over at 9:30..PM! to help me a little with another cake. they are the best! i would have been up all night doing that! it was a huge cake. but we had so much fun together :)
saturday consisted of a 5 mile run, more cake decorating, snorkeling in the swimming pool {practicing up for hawaii..the count down is on}, napping in the sun, and then dinner at arriba’s {delish} and walking around san tan mall with brig’s sister and brother in law.
sunday was a relaxed day, went to church, had home teachers, rested, ate dinner, then visited the weights.

{walking to wal mart }

{maddix crawling everywhere=dirty water?}

{this is from like a month ago but i just had to post it!}

{lovin’ the shopping cart!}

{he misses me during my workouts}

speaking of working out. this is my entertainment at the gym..not really her..but pretty much her twin and husband. my favorite part is watching from the second floor. everyone that she walks by just stares with nasty looks on their faces while whispering to their friends. it is awesome. what do you think brig? should i ask her to be my trainer?? eh? or better yet, should i ask her what she takin?

Answers

WARNING: Long post ahead.
So I’ve been having a really hard time with the thought of starting Dental Hygiene school in the fall. Several things I’m not looking forward to- having to be away from Maddix all day, driving 45 minutes each way, & just being back in school sounds horrifying. Just ask Brig- I’m not the most pleasant/happiest person when I’m stressed :) I’m disliking the thought of coming home from school each day to my handsome husband and adorable baby only to study & study & study. Many of you are probably thinking…”why in the heck are you doing it if you’re hating on it so much!?” Don’t worry..I’ve been asking myself the same question. So, like any clever person should do, I decided to pray & pray & pray about it some more.
Well, the other day I felt inspired to read a book I got from someone awhile ago called “My Dear Sisters” by Gordon B. Hinkley. What I didn’t realize is that my answer was right there just waiting for me to pick it up! Thank goodness I listened to that prompting.
“First, educate your hands and your minds. You belong to a church which espouses education…Get all the education you can. Train yourselves to make a contribution to the society in which you live. There is an essence of the divine in the improvement of the mind.”
“I would wish that all of you women…would not have to go out into the marketplace to labor for income. But I know that for some of you this may be a necessity, & you will be better equipped to do so if your hands & minds are trained. Furthermore, whether it is applied to earning a living or not, education is an investment that never ceases to pay dividends of one kind or another.”
“And even though you marry, education will be of great benefit to you. Don’t just drift along, letting the days come & go without improvement in your lives. The Lord will bless you as you make the effort. Your lives will be enriched & your outlook broadened as your minds are opened to new vistas & knowledge.”
Those were only 3 quotes out of like 50 in that book. But those ones are what I really needed to hear. I am so grateful for the power of prayer. It is so real! I love knowing that our Heavenly Father hears & answers our prayers because he cares so much about all of his children.
School will definitely be a challenge for me. It scares me thinking that I could be grumpy & stressed for 2 years, but I know that the Lord will help me through it if I’m doing what’s right. I am going to try my best to be positive everyday! I better start practicing now…. :)

{GOOD START RIGHT?}